Sunday, January 31, 2010

Coach Your Marriage to Reconnection


The Question: What can we do to reconnect our relationship after a fight?

We've done it but had never heard it expressed so poignantly. "I keep rolling to the middle", was the response of one wife when asked what she does to reconnect with her husband after they have a painful conversation.

"You have a choice", she said. "You can either move away as far as possible from each other to the point that you both nearly have one leg hanging off your side of the bed OR you can ROLL TO THE MIDDLE. I keep rolling to the middle." Wow! That's brilliant....and humble.

How much time do you spend in silence in your marriage; you know, giving the cold shoulder...arms folded...jaw clenched...heart hard? In hindsight it's a pity, isn't it? Precious time wasted in disconnectedness?

Jill says it well, and she practices what she preaches. "It only takes one of you to take a step toward the other to get close again." Last night when inches seemed like miles between us, one of us rolled to the middle, and the other reciprocated. The chasm was crossed and reconnection established. Another attempt by the enemy to sever the connection of holy matrimony foiled. Hallelujah!

The skill is a simple roll from your side of the bed to the middle. The heart behind it is apologetic humility that reflects the answer to a question to Jesus, "What can I do to reconnect with her Lord?" "Say you're sorry, Jeff." "What? What about what she said?" I retort. "You follow me." It is his consistent reply.

How can you coach your marriage to reconnection?
Ask what you can do to show your willingness to be close again. Don't be surprised when you get a prompt to ROLL TO THE MIDDLE.

We're praying for you! Please pray for us.

Jeff and Jill

*Roll to the Middle is the title of a song by Sarah Groves.